if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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