fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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