Sponge bath it is.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
