I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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