What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
