I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
