she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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