Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
