Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
