You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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