eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
