Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize