i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize