I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
