He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
