It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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