Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
