I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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