So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
