It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
