i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
