ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
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First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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