did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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