Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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