What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
