C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
