is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
