Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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