My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
