You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
