Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize