1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
