Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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