i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
