The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize