What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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