question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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