hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
