wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
