Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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