Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
