Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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