I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
