If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I forget how to act sober
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