i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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