I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
