I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
