Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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