we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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