I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
