also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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