I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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