Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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