piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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