letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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