Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
