Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
