dude i'm inner monologue high
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
