No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
