sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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