somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
