butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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