Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
