his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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