Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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