Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
