but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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