yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
